Looking back now, my path to “A Course in Miracles” probably all started in 1969 when I accepted Jesus my personal Lord and Savior, consuming the Campus Crusade for Christ. However, after joining a Christian brotherhood of aspiring monks, where I was daily quizzed on what many Bible verses I had memorized and may recite verbatim, I was totally confused because of it all. Their version of reality just didn’t sit well with me. I felt just like a parrot of Bible verses, that I didn’t even commence to understand, or the town crier that nobody wished to hear. Jesus would show me more, a lot more.
As divine synchronicity could have it, I ingested a hallucinogen that resulted in a near death experience the day after Christmas, 1970. When I was in the black void, with only the consciousness that “I Am”, George Harrison’s song My Sweet Lord began playing. That has been my voice singing to God, not George’s! Soon a brilliant white light began taken from the darkness, as my soul sang “I must say i desire to see you Lord”. Then somebody started to emerge out from the light. This Holy One oscillated between masculine and feminine.
As I’d been praying to Jesus, I thought it may be him, but without a beard. I began crying from the depths of my soul, as the Holy One communicated telepathically into my heart. I knew this Being to be only pure love. Then it was over. I was shot back into my body, hearing what to a fresh song telling me “it’s been a long time coming, it’s going to be quite a long time gone.” How true that has been.
Per year later, I saw the cover of Autobiography of a Yogi. It was Paramahansa Yogananda who had arrived at me! Next came meeting Baba Ram Dass, who confirmed that I wasn’t crazy and stated that Yogananda had seemed to many young spiritual seekers on drugs. He also autographed my copy of Be Here Now. My next decade was spent being an aspiring yogi and practicing Yogananda’s Self-Realization Fellowship lessons and exercises, chanting, meditating and receiving initiation into Kriya yoga. Yogananda’s path and linage of gurus brought the essential clarity for me to comprehend Jesus and Christianity better. Yogananda also showed me the fundamental truth behind the oneness of most religions.
And he brought me to Babaji, the Mahavatar who sent him to America back the 1920s. Since I heard the name Babaji, I knew I knew Him. He and Jesus work together, behind the scenes, in the cosmic scheme of things. And Babaji was to function as next step in my ongoing spiritual evolution. However, I did not know at this stage that He had supposedly manifested a body again and was surviving in the small village of Haidakhan, in northern India. That could come later, along with the mystery and myth of this current manifestation.
After hearing Bhagavan Das sing, I purchased a dotara and began chanting mantras to God daily. This simple, ancient two- stringed instrument is easy to play and lets one follow the drone sound into silence. a course in miracles At this point, I purchased my own place in the woods and met a man who’d lived with Babaji. He conducted a Vedic fire ceremony that Babaji had taught him to initiate my new abode. I questioned and grilled him repeatedly, asking if this new Babaji was exactly the same entity Yogananda had written about. Yes, one and exactly the same but peoples egos still question His true identity. Babaji’s new Kriya yoga was the path of truth, simplicity and love while performing karma yoga- work – and keeping one’s mind on God, through repetition of the ancient mantra Om Namaha Shivaya.
Babaji stated that this mantra alone was more powerful than one thousand atomic bombs and His 1-800 number. I began at this stage seriously doing japa, or the repetition of the mantra on 108 rudraksha beads, to get this vibration into my sub consciousness. I also learned many methods to chant it on my dotara. With all this going on, I bought “A Course in Miracles” and began the daily lessons immediately. I tried to make sense of the written text but got nowhere; each sentence bogged me down and had to be re-read over way too many times to assimilate. I was just too young, I told myself. I was thirty-three. I’d deal with this Text later, someday, maybe.
Then after a year to be married, the house burns down- a genuine karmic fire ceremony. In the ashes, untouched by the fire, was a picture of Babaji and His cymbals from Haidakhan. Talk about miracles! Next, was the unexpected news that we have a child coming, after losing everything? My marriage started to dissolve quickly when i fell twenty feet off a roof, breaking my own body in twelve places. Surviving death, I was put back to college for just two years to be retrained, while my ex-wife and son left for the Southwest. That is when most of my abandonment issues led to extreme drinking alone. After graduation, I left for India to see Babaji’s ashram, as He previously already left His physical body again, and to pray for help with my life in the most spiritual country on earth.
I attended the 1995 Kumbha Mela festival with ten million others and lo and behold, who should appear? It was Babaji, asking me if I was having a great time. Yes, but I couldn’t talk with answer Him! Then He disappeared back to the crowd, leaving me blown away. Returning state side, I ended up following my ex- wife and son to the Southwest, where my next step was peyote meetings with the Native Americans for many years ahead. Everything I’d read and studied in the Course was evident on the medicine inside that tipi. God Is.
I learned more in a single night than I had in years of studying metaphysical books. But I didn’t practice all I’d learned and I let my depressed ego, alcohol and abandonment issues take me closer to death’s very door. However, as fate, karma and prayers could have it, I ended up in prison for 2 2.5 years on an aggravated DUI, instead of dead, where I discovered the Courses’ Manual for Teachers inside our library. Soon, I had the entire book sent in free to prisoners and was reintroduced to Jesus again, with all the current time I had a need to study every word of this lengthy text.
After twenty years, I have to be old enough to get it now! With time and with assistance from the Course, I was finally in a position to forgive myself for the bizarre life my ego had constructed. I did the daily lessons again, trying to start to see the face of Christ within each inmate. That was no easy one. But I left prison a changed, free sober man, much better for the experience and with a first draft book about any of it all under my belt. Today, I have eight years of sobriety under my belt and my book Still Singing, Somehow won the fall Pinnacle Book Achievement Award. This is a very condensed version of my story- an odyssey of one soul’s karma.
